It was just a few days ago that we sent Shaun a card with this picture & words of encouragement.
I've only spoken with him on the phone a handful of times since he's been in treatment. Each time though, some of his comments laid the groundwork for an early exit from the program.
Things like "I'm stuck on step one.", "I don't want to work the steps.", "I don't want you to come up for family weekend, it's too emotional.", "You don't need to come pick me up when I leave, they have a shuttle that goes down to the valley.", "Alcoholics are sick, that's why they call it an illness, our brains do not process information the way most people do.", "I'll have to fight this daily for the rest of my life."
So I wasn't at all surprised last night when his advisor called me. I saw the name come up on the caller id and with it, the same old sick to my stomach familiar feeling engulfed me. Which brings me right back to where I've been so many times with Shaun.
When does it stop? When does he mature? I've often cried out to God, "How much do I (we) have to endure as parents?"
Shaun has said that the program is great, it's just not for him. Out of all they're teaching him, he hangs onto relapse is part of recovery. That's just an excuse to drink. I know Al-Anon teaches progress, not perfection, but in Shaun's case, relapse could take his life.
After I spoke with his advisor, they allowed Shaun to call me. I said all the right things. I said "I can't believe you would give up on yourself like this?", I said "Shaun please, please, I don't want to have to bury you.", I said "If you won't do this for yourself, then do it for me.".
Of course he tried to encourage me by saying that it won't happen again. I told him that I believe that he believes he can control it. However, I also told him that historically that hasn't proven to be the case. I said "What coping mechanisms have you learned that will ensure this doesn't happen again?".
I asked that tonight while he's lying in bed, please think about what we've talked about. I told him to be honest with himself. I suggested that he go back to just getting through each day vs thinking about 60 days or 90 days from now.
God has begun a good work in Shaun. God has opened all the gates. If Shaun leaves the program, that is not of God. That is Shaun. The Holy Spirit is such a gentleman. He won't fight Shauns free will...He'll just simply tap him on the shoulder in hopes that He reaches Shaun's heart.
Please, dear friends, lift Shaun in prayer. He is worthy, he is God's child first & foremost. Amen
I've only spoken with him on the phone a handful of times since he's been in treatment. Each time though, some of his comments laid the groundwork for an early exit from the program.
Things like "I'm stuck on step one.", "I don't want to work the steps.", "I don't want you to come up for family weekend, it's too emotional.", "You don't need to come pick me up when I leave, they have a shuttle that goes down to the valley.", "Alcoholics are sick, that's why they call it an illness, our brains do not process information the way most people do.", "I'll have to fight this daily for the rest of my life."
So I wasn't at all surprised last night when his advisor called me. I saw the name come up on the caller id and with it, the same old sick to my stomach familiar feeling engulfed me. Which brings me right back to where I've been so many times with Shaun.
When does it stop? When does he mature? I've often cried out to God, "How much do I (we) have to endure as parents?"
Shaun has said that the program is great, it's just not for him. Out of all they're teaching him, he hangs onto relapse is part of recovery. That's just an excuse to drink. I know Al-Anon teaches progress, not perfection, but in Shaun's case, relapse could take his life.
After I spoke with his advisor, they allowed Shaun to call me. I said all the right things. I said "I can't believe you would give up on yourself like this?", I said "Shaun please, please, I don't want to have to bury you.", I said "If you won't do this for yourself, then do it for me.".
Of course he tried to encourage me by saying that it won't happen again. I told him that I believe that he believes he can control it. However, I also told him that historically that hasn't proven to be the case. I said "What coping mechanisms have you learned that will ensure this doesn't happen again?".
I asked that tonight while he's lying in bed, please think about what we've talked about. I told him to be honest with himself. I suggested that he go back to just getting through each day vs thinking about 60 days or 90 days from now.
God has begun a good work in Shaun. God has opened all the gates. If Shaun leaves the program, that is not of God. That is Shaun. The Holy Spirit is such a gentleman. He won't fight Shauns free will...He'll just simply tap him on the shoulder in hopes that He reaches Shaun's heart.
Please, dear friends, lift Shaun in prayer. He is worthy, he is God's child first & foremost. Amen
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